Try to find yourself. Am I this hand that I see before me typing on the keys? It looks like my hand; it has my wedding ring on it and my short stubby fingers. But am I these hands? Can I feel the wetness of the blood running through the fingers or the individual bones and muscles? No. Can I feel the finger nails or know the length of the fingers without looking at them? No. Can I feel where the skin stops and the air begins? No. I can feel some sort of vibration, but without looking at that hand I may as well have a hoof on the end of it. So where am I?
What about the heart? I can have a heart transplant and still be here. What about the brain? It can be damaged and I am still here. Some people have had half their brain removed and they are still here. It must be the feelings then. But most are just electro-chemical reactions caused by thoughts. I must be getting closer. The thoughts – but I was here before I learned a language which is the basis of this thought system – so I can’t be thoughts. So I can’t be found in the body, the feelings, thoughts – so where am I, because I know I am here?
The way to find out what is behind thoughts is to stop them. How do you stop them? Try watching for the next thought to pop up. What is the next thought that will pop up? – observe.
Did you notice the thoughts stop as you became the observer of them? So what is this observer?
The observer must be pure consciousness, pure awareness.
So the essence of what I am must be this formless consciousness. You can slice and dice the body into the smallest parts and you won’t find it because it is beyond form. It is formless which is why it is so hard to find. It can only be experienced – like love. It’s like emptiness or a ‘nothingness’, filled with whatever we are aware of.
There are two things that can’t be stressed. You can’t stress nothing, because there is nothing to stress, and you can’t stress everything. By definition, if it contains everything, there is nothing left to stress it. So the essence of what we are is stress free – until we break things down into individual things and judge these things as good for us or bad for us – creating a filter of perception. What’s coming in through the senses is just information light waves, sound waves etc. It’s just information in our awareness until we colour it through the filter of the belief/judgement system to give it meaning.
Now this is where things get interesting. If it is not in our awareness, it doesn’t exist for us at that point in time. Let’s take this a step further. I go to sleep at night and my awareness of this physical universe closes down; it no longer exists. I am blissfully unaware of anything going on around me. I wake in the morning and my senses again become aware of the physical universe. So here is the crunch. If this physical universe only exists for me when I am aware of it, I must be the centre of my own universe. The physical universe only exists for me, through my conscious awareness of it. If I am the centre of my own universe I must be the creator of it, and in co-creation with all the other billions of universes on this planet earth. If I am not here consciously, this physical universe can no longer exist for me. If one million people died in an earthquake on the other side of the planet, I would not be affected by it until I saw the news or read a paper. It would not be a part of my reality, not in my awareness.
The universe will continue to unfold through its own grand design and through the law of cause and effect, everything arising and passing away, evolving. But we still have a creative impact in our own little universe as we arise and pass away because we are also a part of this elegant design and are creative in our own right. We humans are evolving. Charles Darwin said that it was not the strongest or most intelligent of the species that evolves the best, but the most adaptable. We have used our intelligence to adapt to even the most inhospitable environments. In this way we are creative.
So what are you creating? Is it drama? What you believe is what you will see. If you wake up in the morning and see a world of drama, that’s just what you will create through a filter system of beliefs and judgements. What is wrong with seeing the world and life as an adventure, a comedy, a loving place to be? This difference in perception is a world of difference in emotional experience.
Take a look at your life as though it is a movie.
Take a look at your life as though it is a movie – a movie with you as the main actor, director and producer. What type of movie would you like to create? A magnificent love story? Then see it as a love story and go out and create it. Like any movie it will have its twists and turns, its ups and downs; but life is a roller coaster. Are you too afraid to get on the roller coaster – sitting with envy while watching others having so much fun? On the first incline of the roller coaster we tend to feel apprehension. Wouldn’t it be better to be back safe on the ground? Why did I do this? My apprehension might be building. This tends to turn to exhilaration once over the first incline when I realise there was nothing to fear but the fear itself. I see the people getting off the roller coaster with faces full of excitement, vibrant and full of energy.
I also see the people with fear in their eyes, too afraid to get onto the roller coaster ride. I like to see life as an adventure and a comedy. I laugh at the golf ball that heads off into the trees never to be found, (and believe me, this happens often in my game). I hit a little ball around a field. What’s the point in getting upset at something that isn’t really important in the scheme of things? We have even come up with our own rules. The thirty second rule can be used if you miss hit a ball off the tee and you can retrieve it in thirty seconds: No penalty. To see grown men charging after a miss-hit ball is hilarious. The Gilly rule was named after me: once you get to eight shots on a hole you stop counting. This rule was brought into play because of my request for a calculator at the end of most holes. You can invoke the Schultz rule, named after the TV program Hogan’s Heroes for three shots during a game. When this rule is invoked everyone else has to say ‘I see nothing’ as you take the shot again. The leather wedge (shoe) can be used when you find yourself behind a tree. We play for fun, not competition.
A professional golfer asked me to caddy for him during a Pro Am. He was experiencing difficulty with anger and frustration – the want for control. On the first hole he stuffed up a shot and went one over par. By the fifth hole he was four over par and was getting more frustrated with every hole. I told him on the fifth that he had carried that first bad shot on his back for the last four holes. I asked him when he was going to put it down and let it go. I said he was four over, wasn’t going to win, so he might as well just enjoy the day out. ‘This is your psychological advice?’ he asked.
‘Yes, just let it go and enjoy the game.’ I told him. He went three under par for the remainder of the game. On the way home I told him about our rules and he shook his head and said.
‘You just don’t care do you?’
I said, ‘No, I am carefree but that doesn’t mean I care less. I just don’t take most things too seriously.’
Sometimes we need to just take off our heads and live through our hearts.
Judgements and beliefs stop us seeing reality and enjoying the moment. To enjoy the moment and experience the essence of what we are we need to get out of our heads and away from the paralysis of over analysis. Accept what is, clear the mind of judgements – and you will find peace.
What can you do to create a happier life? You can first accept that you are the creator of it. See your life the way you would like it to be and then live it that way. What you are holding in your mind you will bring into your world. This is the power of choice.
